The Largest Pool

The Touhou series features some of the most uniquely designed and intricate characters ever. Obviously most of this comes from the fandom, and not so much the canon where only the framework is provided. Nonetheless, I've been within fandoms with enough cast herds to overwhelm the average human, and Touhou is no exception, but unlike the many other fandoms I've been within I've actually cared about more than a select few characters. A large reason is that rather than introducing a whole mess of characters first, several were brought in year-by-year, each of them representing their own game that extends and develops the world we know as Gensokyo. They all have relationships with characters around them that make sense, and their chance meeting with the main characters tends to make sense as well. The only exception to this are either the early bosses who are just random youkai the heroines decide to exterminate along the way, or an extra boss who may or may not be related to the plot itself.

So I've gathered a few top-threes, top characters who I believe especially fit a particular archetype. They aren't necessarily my most favourite characters, but if one of your favourites is in this list then I can completely understand why they might be, starting with...

PARSEE IS JEALOUS OF EVERYONE BELOW

bad·ass

noun /ˈbadˌas/  badasses, plural A tough, aggressive, or uncooperative person - one of them is a real badass, the other's pretty friendly adjective /ˈbadˌas/  Tough or aggressive - a strange fellow with a badass temper Particularly bad or severe - some badass virus I'd caught at sea Formidable; excellent - this was one badass camera

I don't believe this definition really does justice to the term "badass". I've been known to overuse and abuse the term for several characters who I strongly believed fit the definition, but to put down all my bias (or at least most of it) we all know pretty much every character in Touhou can be badass one way or another. Yes, even Maribel or Rinnosuke or Sunny Milk or Daiyousei. They can all be badass too! What makes a character more so in this category than others is how they're designed, what their personality is, and what they've done or have already been through. The ability of the character counts too, but one very badass character, Yuuka Kazami, has the ability to manipulate flowers, so obviously the ability isn't all that important. And the top three most badass characters in Touhou are...?

3. Shou Toramaru
I think while the top two of this list won't be very contested, this one might be. There are simply far too many badass Touhou characters to fit in a top-three list, including katana-wielding samurai gardener Youmu, or time-stopping knife-throwing ninja maid Sakuya. Then you have others who could also be in this category, like the destructive Yuuka or Flandre. Even so I went with Shou. Why?
The king of all beasts is in my opinion, the tiger. If a character is associated with such a beast, they'd have to be mighty badass to be so. If, for example, Meiling was actually associated with dragons (and not simply just theorized to be) she might end up on this list too, but alas she is not.

While fandom itself does not treat Shou well in the whole badassery department, I believe she still manages to hold onto third place with several factors besides the whole tiger thing. One, she's got that theme. It's not my favourite theme, and not a particularly popular theme by all means but everyone will agree about one thing. It is a powerful theme. Even ZUN's comments suggest that when composing it he was going for a powerful, strong message when one fights Shou and it is incredibly fitting when you reach her in UFO. Second, her spellcards. Not only are their names some of the fiercest names you might hear, (Light Sign [Absolute Justice]) all of them are LASERS. No character in all of Touhou has been associated with lasers quite as much as Shou. Ask any Touhou fan and they will tell you how much they fear her signature curved lasers, which although aren't the first of their kind are certainly the codified kind. And while breaking the laws of physics is not unique to Shou in this franchise, it's still quite a feat itself.

Finally, Shou is the disciple of Bishamonten, who is often thought of as the God of War. She is even sometimes portrayed as the avatar of Bishamonten himself, and thus a God of War herself. Then there's her design, oh how I absolutely love her design. She's technically wearing pants underneath her excessively-fancy garb, but that makes her look important. Cirno is often portrayed badass in fanworks, but a lot of that has to do with her personality, and her outfit is nowhere as extravagant. Her hair is streaked with black, and I may not have seen many tiger-associated characters in my existence but never had I seen one so directly referencing the tiger as much as that. There's also her gravity-defying...cloth scarf thing, along with her spear and pagoda. I don't know if anyone notices that her pants are actually quite frilly, but who can notice? Her outfit is so complicated while she herself is so busy being badass, that one does not notice her frilly pants. Who else wears pants in this series, really?

2. Utsuho Reiuji

Well this one is obvious. The moment you hear her theme, see her design, and see her spellcards you instantly know that ZUN has outdone himself. A hell raven with gigantic black wings with a massive space cape while her arm is in-cased in a cannon and her foot in-cased in concrete and the red-Sauron-like-eye smack-dab on her chest...a huge reason Utsuho is on this list is due to her design. While your jaw is on the ground from the utter epicness of her design (or alternatively, trying to figure out the wing thing actually is a space cape because ZUN has weird drawings) you hear the music blaring into your eardrums with instant awesome. You try to dodge her non-spell and finally you hear this signal, this signal that yes, you are going to die. You finally see caution signs passing through the screen and suddenly GIANT SUNS are flying towards you. GIANT SUNS.

She literally has the power of a thousand suns. She's also the person responsible for keeping the fires of hell nice and toasty, and so the nuclear hell raven has come forth. I can keep repeating her features: gigantic black wings, gigantic white cape with space/star-like pattern on it, gigantic cannon that shoots out gigantic suns, large demonic-eye on chest, and a leg in-cased in concrete. How on earth do you manage to put so many ingredients of instant awesome on one person and not possibly overdose on epic? HOW!? How does a person even come into contact with such an insane magnitude of power in the first place!? Well that might be due to Utsuho eating a god.

Oh, Shou might be the AVATAR of a god, but Utsuho ATE one. Most people, in their minds, believe gods to be ultimate deities with infinite power and nothing can trump them at all, ever. Touhou kind of subverts all of that, like making certain goddesses the very first-boss of a certain game. Even so, Gods are still not to be trifled with in Touhou, and if you happen to eat one, particularly Yagatarasu, who is basically the Sun God you now have the power of nuclear fusion. The ability to nuke anything in an instant. This combined with the endless hard metal remixes of Nuclear Fusion and the numerous redesigns of her cannon make Utsuho one tough, badass customer to deal with. She simply exemplifies badass...she bleeds badassery. And then you suddenly remember that this is only number two on the badass list. Someone is even more.

1. Fujiwara no Mokou
A person who knows absolutely nothing of Touhou would probably be wondering why a person wearing suspenders is more badass than...well, Utsuho, the nuclear hell raven who flings suns at you. In the end there is more than just design or affiliation that makes a character badass. There is more than just spellcards or even music (even though Immortal Smoke is an excellent song!) that makes a character badass. The greatest reason is the character. A man with an absolutely impeccable beard and biceps the size of an average human head would not be badass if he were cowering underneath a table during a robbery. The badass person could instead be a little girl who trips the perpetrator and ends up stopping the crime. Mokou is that little girl to the extreme.

Mokou was a young girl accompanying a man on a mountain who was delivering the Hourai Elixir to its doom. Think of Lord of the Rings where Frodo must throw the one ring into Mordor, in this case the man was trying to rid of the elixir since it grants immortality. Rather than a happy ending where people move on to a paradise beyond life however, Mokou instead pushes the man off the mountain to his death, steals the elixir, and drinks it for herself. I am not implying that murder is badass, simply detailing her backstory, mind you. So now Mokou is an immortal. This isn't the good kind of immortality where it also keeps you invincible from everything unfortunately, rather the kind where if you happen to die you simply are resurrected, including the whole pain and disease part. So after a thousand or so years of being shunned from never aging and so being a social outcast, Mokou winds up in Gensokyo.

Here, she reunites with Kaguya, her mortal...or rather, immortal enemy. The reason she stole the elixir all those years ago was because Kaguya humiliated her father's honour, and she wanted revenge. The elixir was affiliated with Kaguya and it turns out she ended up drinking it all those years ago as well. So now they spend all their time killing each other in utter hatred. You're probably wondering where the badass part comes in. Mokou is immortal and when you fight her in Imperishable Night...you're killing her. Every single time you defeat one of her spellcards, she dies. She then comes back, exclaims how painful that last death was (well she's mostly saying "Ow! That hurts!" than anything, really), and continues attacking you. She is also an excellent fire manipulator, and so due to her tenacity as an immortal and her element, is often portrayed as a phoenix. A few of her spellcards even depicts her with the phoenix wings. In short, she is a loner atoner destined to be alone FOREVER who is hot-blooded, keeps fighting despite having her arms seared off or is heavily bleeding, and sets things ablaze in an inferno of phoenix fury. In even more short, Mokou can't die even if she is killed.

And if that isn't badass, I don't know what is.

More images: Mokou  |  Utsuho  |  Shou  |  Mokou and Utsuho  |  Mokou vs. Utsuho  | Shou vs. Iku

After that incredibly GAR showcase, we'll going to wind down with (or perhaps cause heart-attacks) ...

This picture is here to make up for the fact that none of them made it to this list.

cute

adjective /kyo͞ot/  cuter, comparative; cutest, superlative Attractive in a pretty or endearing way - a cute kitten Sexually attractive Affectedly or superficially clever - I don't want to be cute with you

I was wondering whether or not to use the term moé or adorable or something, but in the end I think this fits the definition best. I'm not talking about the second definition, but rather the first one, the most common definition of cute. Anyway this is going to be a very very subjective category. Just like badass, but in fact even more so, every character in all of Touhou can fit into this category one way or another. I am going to break the mold and not throw in every moéblob into this top three because that would be far too obvious, and I can't think of reasons to describe how CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNN is cute in three paragraphs. So unlike the first category this one will be filled with shameful, shameful bias. Regardless, read away!

3. Keine Kamishirasawa
Before you throw shoes at me let me explain. I can indeed explain why the mature adult-like teacher of Touhou often the one to educate the immature characters in the pristine topic of history is here. I can indeed explain why the character often considered "disgusting" or "creepy" due to a horrible meme making her out as some sort of hopeless pervert for Mokou is here. I CAN EXPLAIN IT ALL. Actually I don't need to, I genuinely truly believe she is one of the most adorable characters of Touhou and a large part of the reason why she is one of my favourites. Maybe it's what the artists do and how they portray or draw her. I don't know, but I really think she's quite adorable and here is how.

I think a large part of it has to do with my interpretation of Keine being a lot different from everyone else's. It's probably because she isn't a particularly popular character and most people just see her as a role like a teacher or that friend of Mokou's. One very huge aspect of Keine that is adorable is her SUKUSUKU HAKUTAKU form which is an adorable if somewhat-derpy looking ball of animal thing. Not to mention the random ribbon tied to her horn is not only hilarious but somehow adorable despite its ridiculousness. I quite enjoy reading comments from non-Touhou fans about her character. The most common question is: "Why is there a box/house on her head?" which I think complements her head nicely and well, is cute. What can I say?

The most adorable Touhou picture I have ever seen is of Keine for some reason. Her relationship with Mokou (pairing-wise or not, doesn't matter) has some of the fluffiest, cutest interactions I have ever seen. Also I like to think those that are cute should also be pretty nice people. I know the next example isn't the first character a person would think of when I mention nice, but they're not a jerkass either. In fact I don't believe anyone on this list is a jerkass, which is good. One of my favourite artists also draws Keine in a style that simply makes me squee whenever I look at it, and it isn't because she's super-deformed. I think if you can make a character adorable without shrinking their bodies and enlarging their heads, you've done something right!

2. Nue Houjuu
I did say I was biased. I also did say they were kind of not jerkasses but not people you'd think of as saints either. (Byakuren is pretty cute, anyway) It's not because she's my favourite character (or rather perhaps it's the reason she's cute that makes her one of my favourite characters) but besides pointing out her personality or pointing out all the cute chibi pictures of Nue screaming NUUUUUEEEENN~ every time she sees a shrimp tempura I think the plot of UFO really made me evaluate Nue's character a lot differently than I first did when I hated the guts out of her. As an example I am going to use a different character, one Remilia Scarlet from the sixth installment of the Touhou series.

The aspect of charisma break is kind of like a mixture of badassery and cuteness. Basically the character, in this case Remilia, believes herself to possess a great amount of charisma and thus to everyone else looks like a very cool person everyone looks up to. She then messes up and turns into this blob of tears that everyone although laughs at, also expresses an onomatopoeia of "wow, that is adorable!". Nue is kind of like this but far more downplayed because Remilia's charisma breaks have been done, done again, done again, subverted, twisted, done straight, done twisted, done straight again...and well, you get somewhat tired of it. A trait of a person to be truly fascinating should show up occasionally or rarely, not all the damn time. Otherwise it gets tiring and a writer or some sort of storyteller begins to forget the character's other traits and they turn into a one-dimensional character who only charisma breaks.

But I digress, that's not what this is about. Basically just like Keine's ridiculous hat, you can't quite take Nue seriously. She's meant to be some sort of eldritch abomination and then you see this young girl wearing leggings and a one-piece outfit that shows off her youthful curves. Her reaction is adorable when all of her horrible fear-mongering tactics are outdated and inefficient. I also found her regret after UFO happened to be one of those human-like qualities I have ever seen in a youkai in Touhou ever. This is strange because at the same time I kind of see Nue as the most-youkai-like of any youkai. Considering she is from a long time ago and she follows the traditional ways of the youkai by scaring humans. This is not so in the present (or not as widespread, at least) and those who did live in her time-frame still around in the present aren't into the whole scaring business. It's adorable, in a character sort of way.

1. Utsuho Reiuji
Wait, didn't we discuss her already? Wasn't she like the epitome of badassery and ultimate power? Despite all of this, deep down and inside the hell raven is probably one of the most adorable characters in Touhou. She's not a loli or anything, nor is she one of the characters often portrayed as a moéblob ala Chen or Kyouko, but like I said for Mokou....character is what makes Okuu (her pet name! :D) completely HNNNNGH-worthy. Despite all the suns and gigantic wings or space capes or demonic eyes or arm cannons she might have, Okuu is really just an ordinary hell raven with an ordinary...one-track mind. She's a dumb bird. I like to think of Okuu as the combination of Mokou, Flandre, and Cirno. She has Mokou's burning badassery, Flandre's desire for destruction, and Cirno's intellect. All that rolled into one, and I wonder how she manages to stay stable. (Oh wait, she doesn't)

Despite being a stage six boss, Utsuho is a pet. A pet of one Satori Komeiji, and she is extremely naive. She's also said to be stupider than even Cirno, but let's stick to the naive part first. A good reason why the incident in Subterranean Animism even happened is due to Okuu misunderstanding what she was supposed to do with her newfound power, which was for electricity. I saw one doujin that depicted Okuu's personality perfectly in my opinion. She asked this newcomer who wanted to kill Satori, to not kill Satori because everyone likes Satori! She said it was okay for the newcomer to hate her, so long as they like Satori. I think her loyalty to Satori as well as Orin's loyalty to her, as well as this Chireiden family entirely is a complete mess of adorable all stuck together. She also misinterprets things in the most adorable of ways and I cannot really describe it all without linking you to a million things, so.

Then there's "unyu~". Her catchphrase. Sure Patch has mukyuu, and Suwako as aaauuu~ but I strongly believe Utsuho's is the cutest one. Her love for boiled eggs...who else has a canon favourite food? Utsuho is so simple-minded, so young and inexperienced in comparison to the several thousand-years-old characters who also exist in Touhou. Okuu may not have trumped Mokou in the badass department, but she has a stronghold of the cutest in all of Touhou, the lovable derpy hell raven.

Yes, I just realized no true loli-character ended up on this list. Blame bias. I'm sure everyone wants to lynch me for not mentioning Flandre or Chen or Kyouko or Kogasa or Koishi or something. You know if they actually find this very well hidden blog in the cobwebs of the internet! Until then I shall bask in the glory of proclaiming that none of those characters are the cutest! Wahahahahahaha~! *hit by shoe*

More images: Okuu  |  Nue  | EX-Keine  |  Sukusuku Hakutaku  |  Nue with Tyranitar  | Okuu with Orin

So let's do something with a little more depth shall we, with our last category:

She'd be fourth on this list. Really.

char·ac·ter

noun /ˈkariktər/  characters, plural The mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual - running away was not in keeping with her character The distinctive nature of something - gas lamps give the area its character The quality of being individual, typically in an interesting or unusual way - the island is full of character Strength and originality in a person's nature - she had character as well as beauty A person's good reputation - to what do I owe this attack on my character? A written statement of someone's good qualities; a recommendation A person in a novel, play, or movie A part played by an actor A person seen in terms of a particular aspect of character - he was a larger-than-life character - shady characters An interesting or amusing individual

That was long. There's even more in the definition but it doesn't work in this context. Nonetheless unlike the second category I might have a hard time fitting all the stuff I want to say in three paragraphs, but hey I'll try. Touhou introduced many characters that really had no depth to them. They were just there, well this category does not touch on those type of characters no matter how much the fandom has expanded on them. No, here we will have the character with an actual backstory, a reason for their personality, a reason for all their actions and they truly would be three-dimensional characters. At least in my opinion.

3. Fujiwara no Mokou
I already touched on her earlier, but now rather than focusing on why she kicks ass all the time I can actually talk about her character which I find rather fascinating. She may not be as complicated as Kaguya in terms of personality, but I do find her more sympathetic than the moon princess, and a lot of the reason is her reaction to her immortality as opposed to Kaguya's. Kaguya for example, has Eirin who may or may not be immortal or at least is just really, really old. She also has a few other youkai friends in Reisen and Tewi who may not be as long lived but being youkai will exist for quite a while before leaving for the Sanzu River. I'm not sure if Mokou ever grew close to anyone in the many years she's been alive until Keine, and we don't even know, canonly, how close a friend she is to Keine, but let's think.

You're a teenager. How many stupid mistakes have you made as a teenager? Imagine someone not wearing protection while in bed with someone else and finding out they were pregnant a few weeks later. In today's society you can get an abortion (albeit somewhat controversial) and be done with it. Maybe be yelled at by your parents depending on their stance on things (most likely though) but otherwise a pretty reversible mistake. (Well, unless they come with an STD >_>) But Mokou could not reverse her mistake. She can never reverse her mistake, that of drinking the elixir and becoming immortal. In a way that is tragic, but a lot of characters in Touhou actually enjoy immortality in whatever form they have it, be it Kaguya herself or Yuyuko's inability to enter the resurrection cycle and even the newest game introduced new immortals who are fine with it. So even if Mokou's situation seems a tad cliché in fiction it's not all that common in Touhou.

She, like pretty much every character in Touhou doesn't lament about it too much anyway, but she does keep away from others or at least that's what fanworks seem to indicate. Her relationship with Keine is pretty crucial in that case, even if Keine herself won't last forever which is an overdone topic so I'm not going to touch much onto it, but combine that with her undying nature and probably if not now, in the future her only purpose in life: killing Kaguya. Kaguya is immortal like her, and her hatred (or maybe they're bored by now and doing it for kicks, however you interpret it) will be never-ending. On the other hand the two will never be alone either, so they'd have to at the very least grudgingly tolerate each other once the whole world is dead and just a wasteland. (It might suck though, if the sun for example blows up and engulfs the earth would they not either be dying constantly or at least unconscious the entire time? I don't know. It's kind of a disturbing concept to really look into)

And yet she is only third, but probably due to bias and not really because how in-depth she is. I can't think of a proper way to order these!

2. Koishi Komeiji
Koishi, and probably in extension, Satori is a rather interesting story brought up in the game Subterranean Animism. While Utsuho going crazy and wishing to engulf the surface in flames is pretty interesting in itself, especially how Orin reacts I think the deeper tale comes from their mistresses, or owners, the Komeiji Sisters. A lot of what Koishi has either become or how it was done is exaggerated in many ways in fandom, be it turning Koishi into a literal psychopath or making Satori out to be some sort of horrible failure of a sister. I don't really believe it's quite that extreme, but one fact I do believe out of all this is that Satori is the stronger sister, mentally that is. Koishi on the other hand claims to be a better fighter than Satori but we all know the words of the Gensokyo residents must be taken with a grain of salt.

It's a pretty simple story of a girl feeling like an outcast due to her nature, and so running away from said nature rather than facing her problems head on like a healthy person. How she does this is interpreted in many different ways. I personally like the more gruesome/permanent approach of ripping the artery from her third-eye to her head off. The fact that she doesn't have one compared to Satori is an odd mystery, especially since a vein leading to the head for mind-reading would make a lot of sense. She then throws herself in a self-imposed exile, and begins to no longer feel of those desperate times in the past, hated by everyone around her. This was not because people did not hate her anymore, but rather she no longer was able to care. With her third eye closed, she could not understand other people's hearts, and just goes around invisible-like within people's subconscious to do as she pleases.

Have you ever wondered where those hobos on the street came from? What their life was like before they winded up on the streets? If people actually noticed Koishi wandering around I'm sure they too would wonder as well. What is a satori doing above ground? Why is she taking our food in plain sight? Why does she lack the manners and gestures normal people would have in certain situations? The extra boss always was that weird one in comparison to the rest of the cast. Flandre the crazy vampire to Remilia's vampire, Yukari the even more of a whimsical troll to Yuyuko's whimsical troll, etc. I find Koishi to really be a fascinating change on a regular satori species, and it shows that not only is ZUN borrowing from Japanese folklore, but also subverting it whenever he can.

This finally leads into the most obvious conclusion...

1. Byakuren Hijiri
What can I say? I love the UFO plot. Sometimes I wonder how realistic a character like Byakuren can be. I am somewhat annoyed by the few, but existing naysayers who believe Byakuren might be some sort of Mary-Sue (but then they tend to include people like Yukari and Reimu as well, so uh) but in the context of that which is Gensokyo it doesn't really seem like it to me, at all. Perhaps if she were in a different fictional world with a completely different philosophy she would, particularly the idealistic stories where happy endings will always come if you believe, but that is not what Gensokyo is and so I find her to be a refreshing character amongst all the cynicism and greed that envelops the population of Gensokyo. Shikieiki isn't worried for no reason, you know.

Really though, to be a Buddhist monk, to have carnal fears such as the fear of death that motivate you so strongly to seek immortality. This to me is already strange because in my limited knowledge of Buddhism I was under the impression they believed in reincarnation, so should death come they would be reborn in a whole different life anyway. On the other hand, Buddhist monks aren't supposed to reincarnate, as they're apparently meant to reach Nirvana at this point. Don't cite me on that though. The thing is the whole immortality business in Touhou is rather interesting, and only further brought forward from the release of Ten Desires. How many times have you heard the word immortality be mentioned in whatever you're reading or watching, and end up seeing that it tends to be the ambitious goal of a villain seeking to rule everything forever by having eternal life. I've never seen such a goal sought after by a type of role meant to be pure and free of all desire. It just tells me that humans come and humans go, but humans will always be in their nature, human.

Without that fear part, I wouldn't find her character so fascinating. There has to be a reason that drives her to help others besides just wanting to help others. How many famous people started up a charity for some sort of disease without actually being personally affected by it? Tell me how many there are and I bet you you can't even name one. So in this case it actually feels realistic, and it's not like a true Mary-Sue where everyone loves you forever. She drew many enemies for her actions and she ultimately did not succeed in her goal because she was sealed. How she even ended up being sealed I do not know, for this part of the story is largely interpreted by the fandom. For some reason the one I most commonly see is Byakuren willing to be sealed because of some sort of crisis, and maybe it fits. Maybe it fits? Or maybe there was someone powerful enough to restrain her against her will, and she only got used to her sealing in Makai because of how long she was there.

Truly it is powerful if she still has the goal after a thousand years, and even more so that people did not forget her. After all that time they wished to set her free, and so the story of UFO continues to be the strongest reason I have for loving Touhou.

More images: Byakuren  |  Koishi  | Mokou  |  Mokou with Kaguya  | Koishi with Satori  | Byakuren with Shou

That is all I have for today's fandom post. This originally some sort of image critique thing but I couldn't finish it. It's also pretty much a gigantic touch-up on my interpretation of Murasa anyway, who never got mentioned in this post. Like I said, not necessarily my favourite characters, and the fact that I did not include her anywhere here probably baffles people as to why she is my favourite, but the answer will come soon.